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  • Writer's picturesonnyholmes

Biblical marriage

The most surprising thing about the Supreme Court of the United States redefinition of marriage has been the shocking recognition of how many leaders, denominations, and confessing believers are in that camp already. OK, so I know I have rose-colored glasses. Call me Mr. Naive. But, for the life of me I cannot fathom how so many believers could support such a visible departure from the teachings of Scripture. Well, duh? At the core this may be the greatest shock of all: they must have a very low view of Scripture. The Bible cannot be authoritative to them, without error, the undergirding foundation of a biblical worldview. Shocker!

Take a pause. Many pastors, including me, have signed Here We Stand: An Evangelical Declaration on Marriage. You can read this finely crafted declaration here. Therefore, I'm going to honor your time commitments and not re-state what I've already affirmed in agreement with so many spiritual leaders. Just know that I am fully and irrevocably committed to marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman. Any other definition is an abomination to God. Let me clarify some things, however---

1. This does not mean I cannot or will not love people of opposing views or of

different choices about their sexuality. To equate a biblical view of marriage with

bigotry or hate-mongering is a total misrepresentation.

2. This biblical stance doesn't place me in the role of judge for those choosing a

non-biblical view. Scripture is the authority here, and not me.

3. The Supreme Court of the United States cannot re-define what God has defined.

There will be many challenges to this opinion and their interpretation of the

Constitution of the United States. I will support these actions.

4. I will never, repeat never, perform a marriage ceremony for same-sex couples, or

anyone seeking marriage beyond the guidelines established by Scripture. This

has been my practice, as well as my human condition would permit, for the past

35 years. This will not be changed by the SCOTUS interpretation.

5. Marriage and the family were God's first institution in creation. Civil government

and the church would follow, all instituted by God to govern and stabilize

civilization. We must resist every human attempt to alter what God has


All of the debate has driven me to Scripture for further guidance and inspiration. That his word " a lamp to my feet and a light to my path..." (Psalm 119: 105) has been especially true in a culture like this one. The search of Scriptures regarding marriage has been convicting too. May I share?

1. I must be able to state with clarity my convictions about marriage.

1 Peter 3: 13-17 is a great tutorial about a reasoned response to the world.

The first step, of course, is insuring the absolute Lordship of Jesus Christ over

my life. So, it must start there before the apologia begins. As a believer, I must

also pray for the Holy Spirit's leadership when I speak. See Luke 12:12.

2. As a professing Christian, I must be sure that the Lordship of Jesus Christ

and the authority and efficacy of Scripture reflect in my worldview. If not,

there is a problem and I must seek spiritual counsel about it.

3. As a Christ follower, I must do everything in my power, according to

the one who lives in me, to insure my marriage is a biblical marriage.

All the rhetoric about marriage has driven me to Scripture and my knees and has

revealed some excruciating truth about my life as a husband and father. While I'm

shocked at the Supreme Court ruling I am more shocked at my own failures as a

husband. Harriet and I have been married for 42+ years and have been blessed in

so many ways, often in spite of my poor leadership and failure to love her as

Christ loves his church. This SCOTUS ruling has turned me to examine my own life

as a husband and father. I am thankful he gives more grace, and so do they. The

big discovery for me is that biblical marriage involves more than gender. Me

being a man and Harriet being a woman doesn't automatically give me a pass on

the other areas of reflecting his desire for marriage. There's always work to be

done by me.

These are pivotal times. I'm praying that we'll just make one definitive turn as we adjust to them---a turn to him and his word, and a commitment to a strong biblical worldview in every area of life, including marriage.

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