Maturity.

Most of us live on the ragged edge. The pandemic has narrowed the parameters of our daily grind and given us newness in the nervous twitch department. The lesson for most of us is that our circumstances aren't really the reasons for gnawed finger-nails, the cold sweats, fitful sleep, or drinking on the job. It's our responses to the world around us. I mean, most of us are as zoned out in isolation as we were when moving at the speed of light. And, guess what? Contentious people are primed for us whether we're in slo-mo, running at the speed of light, on the crowded freeway, or lounging in the hammock. Their homing systems are fine-tuned to our vibes.

The people in the psychology department advise us to avoid them. That's one sure fire way to move beyond their range. Keep your distance from them. You know, out of sight, out of mind. What a simple navigational device, to stay away from the provocative people who can so easily push us closer to the edge. But, there's a catch. These people are often the ones at the next desk, across the back-yard fence, in the family circle, or even occupying the next pew. Get real! Sometimes the most aggravating people are the ones we simply cannot avoid. Constant contact is the norm, the irritating persona that is glued to us in an up-close way. Life in the big city means we cannot avoid them, nor can we simply ignore them. Their antics are part-and-parcel of everyday.

Their ways aren't the problem anyway. There's no control button in my response systems that can mediate or otherwise control their actions. My only way around being pushed to the edge with them is to manage my response to them. I surely do have a control button in that department. I can learn the discipline of ignoring their influence over me. Once again, my Christian worldview gives me some common sense and deeply spiritual advice about my reactions to their annoying ways. Make note---

The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.

Proverbs 12: 16, ESV

The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

Proverbs 17: 14, ESV

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19:11, ESV

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

Proverbs 20: 3, ESV

But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law,

for they are unprofitable and worthless.

Titus 3: 9, ESV

As usual, there are many others about ignoring the bait of contentious people. They all, however, reference the discipline of managing self, what I wrote about several weeks ago, egonomics. And, of course, this discipline is learned. To overlook an offense, ignore harmful words, remain aloof from strife, or quit before the fireworks all reference a learning process that continue through life. In this Christian worldview, it means being a disciple of Christ, learning his response to those who sought to provoke him.

It is simply an expression of maturity, that which is expected in the Christian worldview, and is even admired in the world system. This maturity is to live above quarrelsome life circumstances and ignore the jabs and pokes of those who would engage us in so much childishness.

Maturity is the answer when dealing with contentious people. And, we all could use some growing-up in that category.

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One up.

We are a competitive lot. In most pursuits we'd not settle for a tie. When the final scores are tabulated we want to be one up. For the not-sports-minded readers that means we usually want to score one more point than our opponents. One up means one more home-run, touchdown, basket, blue ribbon, check mark, hole-in-one, or ace in the hole than the guy in the other dugout, or wherever. It's part of the reason we've seen so much competing data about Covid-19. Every expert, whether medical, political, cultural, social, educational, or ecclesiastical has the innate scoring compulsion to be one up on all the others. You know, the one to expose the hidden factors, the underneath realities, the portion of this mystery that everyone else missed.

It's what contentious people do! They tend to lift themselves a notch or two above everyone else. They are argumentative, critical, and provocative. Of course, such contention isn't always negative. The folks over in the psychology department applaud those with the gift of raising questions, causing further examination, and having us take a second look at life presumptions. In many instances they are the agents of personal growth, additional learning, and moving beyond the conventions we are so ready to accept. I mean, get real. Many of life's greatest advances have been because someone contended with what was generally accepted in an area of life. Where would we be without a Gutenberg, Edison, Ford, or a Berners-Lee (look it up)?

Getting even used to be the basic equalizer in life disputes. Somebody berates us, and we berate them back. Of course, that was then and this is now. Getting even isn't fashionable anymore. There's the one up thing, our human reaction to put downs in exponential times. And, it's true in just about every dimension of life, even in the modern church. Christians know how to play the one up games too. And, that is a sad commentary on our times. My personal Christian worldview abhors the gamesmanship of getting even or going one up on anyone else. It's one of the reasons dealing with contentious people is such a nasty thing. Sometimes our response to those who contend, even about matters of faith, are as deplorable as the contention was in the first place.

The Apostle Paul and Simon Peter wrote about our responses to contentious people. Take note---

See that no one repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to

everyone.

1 Thessalonians 5: 15, ESV

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you

were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

1 Peter 3: 9, ESV

Two things strike me here. One is Paul's insistence that the Christian worldview should direct our reactions to one another, that is, to those in the community of faith, but also to everyone. Paul's instruction moves us beyond fellow believers to the people we encounter in every phase of life. Two, is Peter's counsel that people of faith should live contrary to the whims of culture, where getting even and going one up are facts of life.

Covid-19 has challenged all of us in many ways. Who of us doesn't have ideas about this virus and our reactions to it? And, yes, we have the freedom to express our thoughts and ideals and solutions. It's one of those woulda, coulda, shoulda deals. Can we join the clamor of argument and debate? Without a doubt. Should we? Not necessarily. We don't have to get even with anyone, or go one up on them in the public arena. Repaying evil for evil isn't the deal.

The Christian worldview, which I profess, should give me the heart to bless others, even when I disagree with them. One up isn't the scoring mechanism that builds the common good in most circumstances. It just builds strife. And, that's something contentious people just don't need more of.

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The scoreboard.

Do harsh times bring out the best or worst in us humans? The answer is YES, in bold print. The recent five years under Covid-19 restrictions may be a modern real life illustration of both. Yes, I know it hasn't actually been five years. It has just seemed like that at times. We don't usually measure such things with any degree of accuracy. When our freedoms and movement are limited the time seems to pass a little slower. So, let's exaggerate them with that egocentric scoreboard we all keep activated in our personal comparative systems. My wait times are longer than yours and the inconvenience of Covid-19 has been worse for me than anyone else. My time, work, decisions, and activity are more important than yours anyway. You know the deal.

All of us have witnessed the willing sacrificial labors of friends, family, and unknowns serving others during the pandemic. They've done it without much recognition or expectation of acknowledgement. The best of the human species have served our medical needs, have stood watch over our safety and emergency requirements, answered our banking and financial questions, kept us as up to date as possible with factual data about the virus, picked up the trash, stocked grocery shelves, and been on guard about system abuses. We've applauded them from the sidelines, provided meals when needed, and given thanks to heaven for their faithful commitment. Well, for the most part.

There's also been plenty of dissension, argument, criticism, and bad vibes in the media and in our personal responses to decisions made for the common good. Once again, we have this provocative internal scoreboard that analyzes, questions, and finds fault when actions veer away from our personal assessments. Some of us are just contentious. We like to stir the pot, raise a little ire, produce some drama, and create some agitation about many of the outcomes we've experienced over the last couple of months. Shoot, spend some time on social media an observe the millions of contagious disease experts, political consultants, research operatives, and other specialists this virus has created. Sure, this things has brought the best of us forward with selfless servanthood. Just the same, critics have been loud and divisive. Fake news has us all wondering.

At root in this thing, at least in many cases, is the belief that we could do it al better than the people entrusted with guarding the safety and well-being of our population. And, that's a flawed concept, this idea that we're smarter than everyone else. My personal Christian worldview drives me to Scripture for some answers about contentious people and their influence on us all. A favorite Scripture in this regard is the Apostle Paul's letter to the Corinthian believers. He was defending his own ministry and warning them about the false teachers who had infiltrated their church. Catch this---

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are

commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and

compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

2 Corinthians 10: 12, ESV

It's really a profound truth that comparison with others is without understanding, especially when such comparison is so critical. The Apostle Paul wrote much of our New Testament, guided by God in that assignment. But, he evidently wasn't a gifted speaker. Those false teachers sought to discount his influence by comparing their abundant gifts to his, which were less evident.

That's the trouble with our scoreboard tabulations. Rarely do we see the whole picture. My personal scoreboard is weighted by my opinion of self. And, it's rarely accurate. The man in the mirror is more what I'd like to be and less who I really am. That scoreboard often makes me contentious. And, that doesn't really help anybody.

That's the deal this week. Contentious people often push us to the edge. So, let's discuss how to deal with them.

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